Outside

    Our family has been in a care group/home Bible study for all our years as a family.  Until this one.  Last summer our host family of several years said they weren't able to continue next year. Other group members were fine with the entire group being disbanded. 
 
     I didn't think I'd be so disappointed.  That regular meeting/chatting/praying time with familiar people had been like a sofa  - comfortable, supportive, relaxing and refreshing - in the living room of my life. I didn't know where to park myself.  I'd hear about other small groups and wish they'd have pity and take us in like freezing orphans in the snow.

    Meanwhile most of a year has passed.  We still don't have a new care group.  My husband doesn't feel the need for one.  I miss it.  Several months ago I started volunteering again in the worship time at our church's weekly Celebrate Recovery nights.  I guess this group, most of whom are recovering addicts, is people who often feel like "orphans in the snow".  I imagine we all want to belong somewhere.  Sometimes I wonder if the people who seem to be "in" and "belong" really feel that way.  Do they ever feel like they're outside? 

   In a way there's a new balance in my life.  On one side of the scale I still feel wistful when friends talk about their home groups.  On the other side I'm also pretty comfortable in my Friday night sphere of so-called "outsiders". I have a place to park myself for now.