Nirvana

I've been thinking about the concept of "godliness with contentment being great gain" and particularly about contentment.  The lack of this in my inner life has been one of several reasons for me joining Freedom Sessions this year.  Not even sure yet how much is discontentment and what is just being human in a world that isn't Paradise.  I do think that in this life God allows and orchestrates particular things to be missing or difficult so we can't help but need Him.  Filling and fixing the voids in our souls will not ever fully happen by human means.  Seems like a cruel trick at times, even if my theology knows it isn't so.

At a conference several months ago a Christian speaker told of an interview with a high ranking Tibetian monk who hesitantly admitted a conflict between Buddhist "annihilation of desire" and the fact that human desires are there nonetheless.  There is always something we long for.  I wish it weren't the case.  My logical mind, which is only part of me, can tell me this life is short.  That I need to focus on eternity and heaven and be like a runner intent on finishing my spiritual race. The rest of me struggles to find this comforting.

Nirvana actually sounds good to me.  No desires for anything seems far easier than pressing on with the realities of my soul.  I want to take a vacation from my doctrine saturated, perennially sensible churchy self and ask Jesus like I've just met Him how He ran this race.  I want to ask Him about contentment. Did He find this hard? What was contentment for Him? And what about the joy set before Him? What exactly did that mean for Him on this earth?